Designing Dance Into Your Big Day

Table of Contents:

Part I: Design the Dance, Elevate the Story

Part II: Designing Dance into Your Schedule

Part III: The Checklist

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Every wedding tells a story, and it should be your story. The love, the fire, the future. You show it off in the dress, the vows, the vibe, the music. So let’s talk about what gets slept on way too often: the dance.

The First Dance, that father-daughter groove, the bridal party turning up — It’s the pulse. It’s how you set the tone before a single toast is made and how you make your guests feel the love, not just see it. Here's The Thing . . .

The vibe starts with you. So I ask my clients: What’s your story... and how will you move through it?

Are you giving bold and electric? Smooth and romantic? A little old-school flavor with a modern twist? Whatever the vibe, the goal is to build a memorable performance into the heart of their day, set the tone, and create an inspirational connection with each other and your guests. 

Part I: Design the Dance. Elevate the Story.

Your wedding is already filled with energy: the colors, the music, the mood, the setting — it’s all speaking. So the question becomes, how do we let the dance speak with it?

Setting the Intention

As a dancer and choreographer, storytelling has always been at the heart of my work. On stage, every movement is intentional — it's about evoking feeling, creating connection, and guiding the audience through a journey.

When I work with couples, I bring that same mindset into the studio — because your wedding dance isn’t just a tradition… it’s a story in motion.

If your day is giving tropical romance — that sun-kissed, ocean breeze kind of love — we lean in. Maybe you start with a timeless Frank Sinatra-style slow dance, then shift into a warm, mid-tempo track layered with island rhythms and that signature Caribbean joy.

We build the moment with intention — let it rise, let it surprise. What’s Your Dance Really Saying?

In the studio, my couples learn that this is a chance to say something without saying a word. To show off their personalities. Their history. Their energy. 

Maybe there’s a side of you your guests haven’t seen yet — the playful one, the romantic, the creative, the badass. Let it live in the dance.

You can use this time to highlight parts of your love story that are uniquely yours — a song you both bonded over, a shared favorite artist, or that one genre you secretly geekout over together. Maybe it’s your love for 90s R&B, your obsession with disco, or that early-2000s pop playlist that still hits every time.

Some of my favorite wedding performances? Throwback moments with *NSYNC and Backstreet Boys choreography, surprise switches into Vanilla Ice or Run DMC, and even full-on “Vogue” by Madonna moments that brought the house down.

Nostalgia is powerful — and when it’s paired with intention and movement, it becomes unforgettable. Set the Tone. Light the Room. Invite the Party.

Here’s what I’ve seen time and time again:

When family & friends witness the time, love, and effort you’ve put into your dance, they feel it. Whether your performance is slow and emotional, cheeky and playful, or bold and unapologetic, it sets the tone for everything that comes next.

Your dance creates momentum and cracks the room open. It shifts the energy from “beautiful wedding” to “this is a celebration.”

When Your Friends & Family Become Part of the Magic

I’ve noticed something special happens when couples have their friends and family in the rehearsal space. Bringing your crew, your family, your people into the dance shows what you build together getting there.

From rehearsal laughs to “you got this” moments, creating a dance with the ones you love becomes a whole journey. It deepens your bond, it creates inside memories no one else will ever truly understand.

It’s amazing seeing mothers and sons grow closer with every count.

Bridesmaids who started off nervous turn into hype-women, building each other up.

I’ve watched dads loosen up, laugh at themselves, and then own the moment.

And I’ve seen couples light up when their loved ones step in to dance beside them — it’s like the celebration begins right there in the studio.

And the best part?

Your guests feel that energy.

When they see your friends, your siblings, your parents out there with you, it creates this inclusive, joyful atmosphere. Everyone feels like they’re part of something bigger — part of the celebration, the love, and the vibe.

Part II: Designing Dance Into Your Pre-Wedding Schedule The magic doesn’t start on the big day. It starts in the studio. When you're in rehearsals learning your customized choreography, messing up, laughing, syncing with your person — that’s where the love shows up. It’s where you get grounded, build that quiet confidence and go from “I’m not that great at this” to “Watch me.”

Lock It In Early & Make It Count

This is your time to play, find your rhythm and get confident with the movement to make it yours.

Planning early gives you space to create, experiment, and really connect with your choreographer, with your partner, and with the vibe of what you're building.

This is your time to play, find your rhythm and get confident it to make it yours.

That said, I’ve worked with couples who came in close to the wire, and listen... the magic still happened. The energy was real, the connection was there, and they owned it.

So no matter when you start, it’s possible, but the more time you give yourself, the more space you have to really settle in, explore, and turn your moment into a full-on experience. Find a Choreographer Who Gets You

Start with someone who matches your energy — not just your timeline.

The right choreographer feels your vibe, moves with your style, and helps you bring that fire to the floor. It's not just about choreography and it's movement helping you tell your story without saying a word.

It’s got to feel like you… or it’s not it.

Let It Build — The Confidence, The Choreo, All of It

A fire performance doesn’t happen overnight. You need time to feel it, live in it, and own it. 

You can’t rush confidence — it grows when you show up, stay curious, and trust yourself.

When you give yourself space to move, explore, and try things without pressure, that’s when the magic starts to show. By the time your big day hits, you’ll have elevated into a more natural dance/performer.

Rehearsals Hit Different When Life Gets Loud

Let’s be real — wedding planning can be a lot. Timelines. Group chats. Tastings. Decisions on top of decisions. But rehearsal? That’s the moment I see my clients get to breathe.

It can be your escape & reset. Ideally a space where you and your partner get to tune everything else out and just move together. No pressure, no spreadsheets, just rhythm, energy, and that real connection.

Dance rehearsal can ground you, bring you back to each other and let you reconnect with you in the middle of everything you’re building.

And when you look back, you’ll remember those quiet, powerful moments — the laughs, the progress, the way it all came together — just as much as the big day itself.

Part III: Designing Dance into Your Day Checklist

• Define the vibe of your wedding — romantic, bold, nostalgic, tropical, classic, or all of the above

• Decide what you want your dance to say — about you, your partner, your story

• Choose a choreographer who understands your vision and helps you feel confident

• Start early (if you can!) to allow time to learn, connect, and build confidence

• Don’t stress if you're short on time — powerful performances still happen

• Consider involving your friends, family, or bridal party to make it even more memorable

• Use rehearsal as a moment to reconnect, reset, and breathe together

• Choose music that reflects your personality or shared memories

• Trust the process — your story will come through in the movement

• Most importantly: Make it yours
  

I hope this article has inspired you for everything this new chapter brings — building a life with your partner, designing a celebration that reflects your love, and creating moments that live in people’s hearts. Let dance and movement be a part of that joy. Use it to express who you are, to connect with your guests, and to celebrate every beat of this journey with confidence, beauty, and soul. -Tonisha A.

the DANCING DESIGNER